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Clandestine Sexual Development in China: Making 1 Girl Infinite
1 Girl Infinite One night in the summer of 2022, I received a text message from a producer to whom I had sent the script for 1 Girl Infinite, hoping she might help me make the film. Her message read: “I love the script. But I won’t be able to do it because it’s dangerous.”
I was not surprised by her comment. In China, filmmakers must pass the bureau censorship to release their work. I was acutely aware of the fact that the details of my film had no chance of approval for a domestic theatrical release in China, despite it being a simple coming-of-age story about two young women, Yin Jia and Tong Tong, navigating both their feelings for each other and their lower-class life in the chaotic southern metropolis of Changsha, Hunan Province.
There are three big themes in the story: love, sex and drugs—all routine features of the lives of many Chinese youths. Yet, in China, a vivid depiction in media of these lived experiences is often overlooked.
In the film, Yin Jia and Tong Tong (played by Xuanyu Chen and me, Lilly Hu) carve out a life together—shoplifting for food, joyously pelting oranges at cars and sharing a bed. Their intimate, physical bond forms the core of the story. When Tong Tong becomes romantically involved with local drug dealer Chen Wen (Yang Bo), Yin Jia’s unwavering devotion drives her to sacrifice everything for her. To Yin Jia, love means loyalty and trust, something she clings to after being abandoned by her parents.
The film includes three sex scenes that total over 30 minutes of screen time—a significant portion for a 100-minute movie. Each scene involves different points within the triangle of Yin Jia, Tong Tong and Chen Wen. In order to convey what I perceive as the reality experienced by many Chinese women of my generation, I chose to depict the sex in detail, capturing every subtlety of the actors’ performances. After all, the film is about the sexual development of these women, eschewing the actual physical details of that development would not permit the audience to understand exactly how Tong Tong and Yin Jia’s relationship evolves.
Even so, our approach to the sex scenes was rather conservative. We “closed the set” during these scenes, and relied on the close coordination of the cinematographer and actors in exhaustive rehearsals to ensure minimal interruption to the actors’ work of figuring out the action of the scenes. My role as both director and actor in two of these longer sex scenes also contributed to an efficient and trusting environment. We did not have the luxury of employing an “intimacy coordinator,” which I became familiar with in my time as a graduate student at the American Film Institute Conservatory. Such a position is not a notion in China, and our production had a hard enough time employing essential personnel. As far as I can tell, such a role on a film set is useful to the extent that it provides a trusting environment that can facilitate the safe execution of the ideas in the script. But not only would the absence of such a person not enter into the mind of my Chinese actors, I believe my actors were ultimately in control of their scenes. Adding on another mediator, another variable to their process, would have been a distraction.
I wrote the film based on my experience with another girl during our teenage years. The drug scenes in the movie were directly inspired by an incident we shared. Yes, young people in China consume drugs, just as they do elsewhere. We’re equally curious, and equally flawed.
In my own youth, that girl and I felt lonely and misunderstood, just like teenagers everywhere. We sought solace in each other and developed a love that was intense, pure, and occasionally volatile—a kind of love that only youth can harbor. I poured this unforgettable experience into 1 Girl Infinite because I believe it is both honest and universal. However, almost everyone I approached with the script warned me that the censorship bureau would never approve. I was advised to dilute the intensity of the relationship or reduce it to mere friendship. Curiously, these same people admitted the material resonated deeply with them, reminding them of their own youth.
Eventually, I was fortunate to realize the film with the help of my mentor Eric Roth as executive producer, my friend Matîss Kaža as Latvian co-producer and the brave Chinese independent producer Xie Chunwei. Alongside them were many private investors and cast and crew members who believed in truth-telling and were willing to take the risk with me.
1 Girl Infinite is set to have its world premiere at the International Film Festival of Rotterdam (IFFR) on January 31, 2025. Sadly, it will not screen in its home country, yet it feels essential to note that we raised significant funds in China through crowdfunding. Many average movie lovers and members of the LGBTQ+ community contributed, leaving notes of encouragement. Their messages boiled down to one sentiment: “We, as part of the LGBTQ community, want to be seen.” That’s why we make movies—to be seen, to be understood a little better.
To my surprise, Lou Ye’s new film, An Unfinished Film, will also screen at IFFR around the same time as 1 Girl Infinite. Lou Ye has always been a hero to me. I vividly remember the impact of watching Summer Palace, Spring Fever and Suzhou River. His films portray the harshness of life and society, the fleeting moments of sweetness and comfort and how these forces shape who we are as people. To me, his characters are the most authentic depictions of Chinese people. Watching his movies, I feel seen. As a filmmaker, I hope to achieve the same for others.
