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“Do You Want To Be a Producer Today?” Daniel Tantalean’s Cannes Producer Diary #1
The Palais Each year Filmmaker invites the The Gotham’s Cannes Producer Network Fellows to post about their experiences attending the Cannes Film Festival. This year’s entries begin with a post by Daniel Tantalean, who produced the 2024 Sundance Grand Jury Dramatic Prize Winner, In the Summers.
My Love,
It took 13 hours, but I finally landed in Nice and perhaps against better judgment, made the bold decision to take a bus and a train with two large suitcases in a city I don’t know, telling myself I’d be “adventurous.” I was met with confusion, crying babies, annoyed passengers and signage in a language I barely understand. On an overcrowded train to Cannes, my anxiety kicked in. I started questioning if I was even going the right way. And then the bigger doubt crept in: Why am I doing this? Any of it. I feel so uncomfortable in this environment.
And yet, that’s what a producer does.
I caught a glimpse out the train window and saw the vastness of the coastline. It made me pause. I thought of you and how much I missed you. Then the question you always ask popped into my head, clear as day, in your voice:
“Do you want to be a producer today?”
The train arrived in the Mecca of film. I dragged my suitcase along narrow sidewalks and steep hills. I was sweaty, tired, 15 hours of travel behind me, and wondering, “Why didn’t I just take a taxi?” This isn’t me. I’m not “spontaneous.” I like the couch. I like you. I like our boring, beautiful life together.
Twenty minutes later, soaked in sweat, I arrived at my Airbnb, flung my suitcase into the room, slapped on some deodorant, and power-walked to dinner where I was meeting 50 new filmmakers.
Social anxiety: activated.
The pizzeria overlooked the bay, with its yachts and boats and other nautical things I don’t have the vocabulary for. I moved through the crowd, shaking hands, small-talking, name-remembering. I said I produced In the Summers. That it won Sundance. I tried to be present, but the moment that felt the most comfortable was when I got to talk about us and allow me to ease into further moments of connection.
Still, the intrusive thoughts came:
Am I asking enough questions? Should I try my broken French with the waiter? Am I being sincere? Did I put on enough deodorant?
I reminded myself to breathe. I’ve done this a million times since In the Summers premiered.
I stayed for another hour, then said goodbye to my new filmmaker friends and walked to the Palais to pick up my badge. Holding it in my hand made everything feel real. I snapped a picture and sent it to you, wanting to share just one quick, honest moment, wishing you were here with me.
Then I walked a little farther and there it was:
The crowd.
The paparazzi.
The stars.
That iconic red carpet—leading to the dream factory.
I stopped.
The opening night film, Partir Un Jour, was about to begin. For a moment, I just stood there. For 20 years, I’ve dreamed of coming to Cannes to have my romantic affair with foreign cinema. And I made it.
As I watched the fancy people smile for the camera, I heard your voice again:
“Do you want to be a producer today?”
I sat with the question and quietly answered myself: I just want to enjoy this tiny moment, away from the pressure, away from the job and just be me. The guy who loves cinema. The guy who, at 18, dreamed of being here.
To pause and appreciate what I have. That I was selected to be part of a pretty amazing group of producers and that does mean something.
I’m at Cannes.
And even with you an ocean away, your words keep me grounded.
So I’ll stay here in this moment because today, I want to be a Producer.
From Cannes with Love,
Daniel
